One of the world’s most respected campaigners on men’s issues believes “dad deprivation” is directly causing what he’s termed “the boy crisis” – and unless society urgently intervenes, we will be in danger of writing off a generation of men.
Dad-deprived boys are less likely to display empathy, be less assertive, depressed, have nightmares, talk back and be disobedientWarren Farrell
Farrell believes modern society is being tangibly eroded by dad deprivation – through increased relationship breakdown, family courts that favour mothers, and fathers denied access to their children after a separation.
He points out that in in every one of the largest 70 developed nations, boys have fallen behind girls, and what they have in common, Farrell says, is divorce.
“Dad-deprived boys are less likely to display empathy, be less assertive, depressed, have nightmares, talk back and be disobedient,” says Farrell, 72.
“At age nine, girls and boys commit suicide in equal numbers, but boys are twice as likely aged 14, four times more likely aged 15-19, and five times more by age 20-25. This is the time when dads drift out of their lives”.
“We need a major overhaul of education system, especially in inner cities where we know dad deprivation is higher,” he says.
“These boys have no positive male role models. That makes them vulnerable to strong, destructive alpha males like gang leaders or drug dealers.”
“These boys are also most likely to be brought up by mums, then move from a mother-centered home to a woman-centered school.
“Boys need to see males caring at every stage of their lives. So we need more male teachers, period. I’d say equal amounts at least, although, in areas where there are 70 per cent single mothers, why not have 70 per cent male teachers?
“We need to encourage men into the caring sectors, to challenge the cliché that caring work is women’s work”.
Farrell also urges dads not to willingly abandon their children, which he sees as a dereliction of duty.
“Men should not withdraw like cowards,” he says. “To an eight-year-old boy, their dad is God. Backing off or abandoning them leaves the child feeling not important. Dads must fight to be a part of their children’s lives, especially if the mother blocks that”.
Here, Farrell urges separating parents to park their own differences.
Boys need to see males caring at every stage of their lives. So we need more male teachers, period. I’d say equal amounts at least ~ Warren Farrell
“Allowing dads in helps both the boy and the mother, as the child will be easier to manage for her as sole carer,” he says. “Data shows divorced mums are five times more likely to bad mouth dads than dads do mums.
Perhaps you wonder whether the number is still bleak when considering that so many children today live in blended or adoptive families. It’s still bleak. More than 20 million children, slightly more than 1 in 4, grow up without a biological, step or adoptive father.
Nevertheless, there is some good news in the battle against father absence as reflected in the chart below.
Percentage of Children Living in Father-Absent Homes: 1960 – 2014
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the percentage of children in the U.S. living without a dad began to soar in 1960. It rose unabated until 1995 when it suddenly hit the skids—sort of. For every five-year period from 1960 to 1995, the percentage rose. Since then, it has fallen and risen like clockwork. The result is a hold-steady pattern of 27.5 percent.
Over the years I have been most inspired by the work of Omar and David Inguanzo from their group Children’s Rightsand would call o all like mined folk to join us and make the breakthrough 3000th memberby this Easter! I am also honoured to be regarded as a cause leader within the group.
Along with other campaigners such as Donald Tenn, David Carlin, Anthony Lemons, Second Class Citizen .org and many more who know the massive challenges that still lie ahead through out the USA. Here in the UK there seems a modest groundswell towards reform and feel I would like to see this hope extended to other associated fighting for justicein Family Courts and reforming child welfare organisations to start acting as they are expected to !
Alabama‘s 2nd annual Fatherless Day Rally June 17th at 9AM 600 Dexter Ave Montgomery Al, 36130 Come out as we rally together and bring awareness to the bias system. We will also be handing out red balloons that we will release at 12 noon with a letter to each of our children. If you are unable to attend please release a red balloon at Noon central time with a note to your child and write on the balloon one of the below please. The Fathers Rights Movement, The Alabama Fathers Rights Movement, TFRM, TFRM AL, #fathersrightsmovement, #tfrm. Also don’t forget to purchase a Fathers Rights Movement shirt from inktothepeople.com and search The Fathers Rights Movement purchase your shirt to wear it in support. This is what we need to bring to light. Children love and deserve both loving parents. Statistically, it appears that the family courts in the United States are biased against fathers. For example, 83% of mothers receive custody of their children in divorces. Additionally, men are awarded less support on average than mothers who are awarded support. There is also plenty of anecdotal evidence citing situations where mothers were awarded custody in spite of fathers demonstrating interest and potential to provide and care for their children.– ALABAMA
Across the street from Nesbett Courthouse 825 W 4th Ave, Anchorage, AK 99501 — Members, both men & women, are primarily interested in issues related to family law and child custody.
Parents, Grandparents, Step-Parents, Aunts, Uncles & Family of Alienated children. Join your fellow Parent June 17th By placing your work boots or shoes on the Capital stairs to represent the Alienation going on in your family due to the court system. Please invite anyone you know going through custody battle or any form of Alienation Thanks to the Fathers Rights Movement “Colorado” We need you NOW more then ever ~ The Champ PHILLY SLIIMM thanks for your support #NoExcuses
On June 17, 2016, We will be holding a rally at both 12th Circuit Courthouses Manatee Judicial Center 1051 Manatee Ave W, Bradenton, FL 34205 and 12th Circuit Courthouse Sarasota Lynn N. Silvertooth Judicial Center 2002 Ringling Boulevard Sarasota, Florida 34237 Event will be from 10am-2pm email for more information or to firstname.lastname@example.org We are calling on all fathers to place a pair of work boots or shoes on the steps of the Family Court house.
This is to represent how many fathers have been reduced to a paycheck and are hot allowed to be present in their children’s lives. Inside your shoes/boots place a letter telling your story. Children need both parents. We need 50/50 Shared Parenting. We are Fathers! We are not visitors. We are not a paycheck. Make your statement heard. Make Flyers, banners, posters, signs and bring your friends. to support you and your children.
Today I know many fatherless children, and none are without a fantasy — there is a father on Father’s Day, if only in their fictions, we must take a stance This event will be covered by the press and parts being recorded will be used in an upcoming Documentary In 2015 that I address Parental rights and the destruction of our children and families to our elected officials.
More than 100 supporters for the alimony Reform Bill converge on Tallahassee April 12, 2016 to present to Rick Scott’s office our concerns and protesting with the chant Sign the Bill sSign the Bill. Why Dads Matter and other support groups showed up as well. Governor Rick Scott has one week to sign, veto or do nothing then becomes law. https://youtu.be/Igz9wX-ghN8 An honor to be recognized by the Sarasota County County Commissioners for our efforts to expose Parental Alienation in the 12th Judicial Courts and throughout the State. 22 million are affected by this injustice. Why Dads Matter and Danica Jones with Kids Need Both hope to make a difference for generations to come Whydadsmatter.com & Kidsneedboth.org https://youtu.be/bO5Wz-N5PLU Published on Mar 14, 2016 TED TALK
Parental alienation is a devastating problem affecting millions of families around the world. Unfortunately, much like how we addressed domestic violence several decades ago, we treat parental alienation as a domestic issue rather than as a problem that affects communities, school systems, police and court systems, mental health and financial institutions, and legislative bodies. I will discuss how our social and cultural systems sanction and even promote parental alienation at the expense of our children, and what can be done about it.
Dr. Harman is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Colorado State University and is the Program Coordinator for the Applied Social & Health Psychology Program. She is an accomplished and awarded teacher, and has published many peer-reviewed articles and textbooks on intimate relationships, such as The Science of Relationships: Answers to your Questions about Dating, Marriage and Family. She is also a contributor to ScienceofRelationships.com, a relationship science resource for the on-line community, and is interviewed as a relationship expert for many national and international media outlets (Chicago Tribune, the Denver Post, NY Magazine, datingadvice.com, and the Irish Independent). She has more recently applied her research expertise in social psychology to better understand and find solutions for parental alienation because she has been a target of it herself. https://youtu.be/v3YdldNXZnQ
We need YOU. It is urgent that you get involved and email Governor Scott in Florida each day to tell him to Sign Alimony Bill SB 668. After passing the Senate and the House the Bill is in Jeopardy of a VETO. Change in any State Helps ALL states. Please Help us. Include in your email that “a premise = a starting point and a presumption = an ending point: Judges have full discretion”. Send as many as you can and recruit everyone to this cause. This week is the push week. If we do not top 10,000 a day we will not get his attention. Rick.Scott@eog.myflorida.com. 850-488-7146
On June 17, 2016, We will be holding a rally at both 12th Circuit Courthouses Manatee Judicial Center 1051 Manatee Ave W, Bradenton, FL 34205 and 12th Circuit Courthouse Sarasota Lynn N. Silvertooth Judicial Center 2002 Ringling Boulevard Sarasota, Florida 34237
Heartbreaking and unacceptable…1 out of 3 children live without biological dad and it’s not do from abandonment but a system that profits from removing children from parents lives… What is a fundamental human right- having equal access to both parents… Has become a fundamentally flawed system- the $50 billion dollar family law industry- systematically removing children from parents lives… Attend a Fathers Day Rally in your state. Your voice matters!!! ~JT – KANSAS
We will gather to peacefully protest the unequal parenting laws in this state. — Sedgwick County Courthouse – MARYLAND
Come & stand with us and be counted for this human rights issue that destroys the very fabric of our society…Families. The family law industry is profiting from the bias treatment of parents nationwide. A fatherless society is much more likely to be from this rather than the ‘deadbeat dad” myth they want us all to keep believing. This corrupt multi billion dollar system uses people and creates negative issues for children & families. It effects us all, whether or not you even have children. The damage done is widespread and can be linked to just about every major negative social issue of our time. It’s epidemically proportioned to be a core reason for what’s wrong today with our country and worldwide. Enough is enough of this oppressive, intrusive assault on our families and Constitutional rights as citizens and parents. This scam has got to stop now. So show up now and help be involved with being a part of the solution instead of leaving it up to others… like your children. We can’t leave this for future generations of children to have live with too… Change is now. It’s our responsibility to do this for them. – We’ll see you there standing for what is right. Thank you! ~ Mike Whitney TFRM Click here to go to the event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/497630757091150/?active_tab=posts –NEW YORK
Fathers that care and extended family members are marginalized in divorce and separations in family court and in the lives of their children. The rights of our children to have equal access to both parents is also infringed upon. Now our voice will be heard. Change is coming. Stand up for yours and your children’s Constitutional and God given rights. Come stand in solidarity with us in support of Family Law Reform and Equal Parenting Rights. Bring family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. Share your stories. This is your chance to let Texas and the Nation know that enough is enough with these antiquated laws and we are on the right side of morality. Lets make history! South steps of the Texas State Capital. Visitor parking on 12th and San Jacinto– 2 blocks away. – TEXAS
We are calling on all Fathers to place a pair of work boots or shoes on the steps of the Laramie County Courthouse. If you are unable to attend the rally please send us your story and we will place a pair of boots/shoes on your behalf. This is to represent how many fathers have been reduced to a paycheck, but are not allowed to be present in their children’s lives. Place a letter inside of your shoes/boots telling your story. Children need both parents. We need 50/50 shared parenting. We are Fathers! We are not visitors! We are not a paycheck! Make your statement heard. Make flyers, banners, posters, signs, and bring your friends and family to support you and your children. Join us on the north sidewalk of the Courthouse. Refreshments will be provided. Dress appropriately for the weather and bring sunscreen. – WYOMING
States with events but no event created: Georgia, Maine
States with events in planning: New Hampshire, Vermont
I am a family law attorney…
and I have seen first-hand the kind of unfairness that you are complaining about and I know that you are making a very legitimate point.
Every time I sit and observe for even an hour or so in family court, I come out wondering what foreign country have I wandered into. Fathers are on the bad end of some peculiar social forces and norms at this point in our culture and even understanding that it is cultural and social — and not personal — does not make it more bearable for those who are affected. I am not going to cheerlead, or defend the system. It’s wrong and it goes on and on and on.
So, what to do?
Join forces. There is an active “Fathers’ Equal Rights” community that has only started to explore its potential for political and social influence.
One voice is a rant; many voices is public policy. All judges are ultimately accountable to the public, even those that forget that is so.
Here is contact info for local state advocates in your area, support and work with them for change.
You can begin by attending your the TFRM Rally this June 17th at your State Capitol.
There simply isn’t any other or better alternative.
Find the link to your local state rally below.
You can also go to the address printed on the meme below to see if any of our current open volunteer positions interest you.
Parental Alienation deprives children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents!!
If a father withholds the access of a mother to her children, he can be arrested and charged with Child abduction and Kidnap. When a mother does the same against the father of the children, there are NO laws to stop her from doing this. As a result, many good fathers suffer depression, anxiety and emotional stress that can lead to loss of work, self harming and even suicide. In short, it has a devastating effect on us all.
Children NEED and deserve to have BOTH parents in their lives, the balance needs to be equal. Fathers should not be punished and branded and made to feel inadequate because a relationship with their former partner has deteriorated.
We are hosting the annual TFRM Fatherless Day Rally to spread knowledge to our state officials and the general public about issues in our family court systems. Please come show your support for presumptive 50/50 custody for two, fit loving parents. This is a free, family-friendly event. We encourage everyone to make an appearance or stay with us the entire time. We also encourage you to invite friends, family, loved ones, co-workers, etc. to attend with you. There is strength in numbers. This is our time to let our voices be heard!
We are honest fathers, not drunks, drug users, nor ‘deadbeat’. All we want is to share in the upbringing of our children, be part of their lives, and have it enforced when our children are held against us as if for ransom.
Yesterday I gazed out the window watching fireworks and was really missing my angel but I cannot call her because I am scared of mom’s false allegations and lies, she doesn’t call me and knowing she is only a couple of mile away hurts like hell.
Please know that daddy, your brother, your grandparents, your cousins, aunts and uncles; your whole family loves you and misses you very much.
I tried to get to see you but your mom told the Judge, in family court on April 24th, 2013, that “it’s too inconvenient for her to take you to visit with me”.
I love you!
What can be worse than that?
In 2013, Judge Manno-Schurr agreed with mom. In my opinion this is Parental Alienation by Mom facilitated by the Family Court.Judge granted Mom’s Motion to Strike the Amicus Brief filed by Dad that explains to the…
Positive ambassadors for involved fatherhood, at-home dads need to resist the urge to take offense and instead use these thoughtless comments as “teaching moments.” In this way, they can be more effective and positive as they change the out-of-date attitudes of those around them. I came up with a phrase for this very purpose:
“Almost every dad I know is putting in the work to be a loving, hands-on, involved dad”
Here we are starting another year in the same position as last year and the year before that and the year before that. Three years now since I saw my two children and three more to go if the situation remains the same. My son Scott will be sixteen in three years time and he will instantly have the freedom to choose to find me. Which is why I keep my blog running. I have said this over and over again during the last three years, all we want is equality. Not too much to ask in 2014. A fathers right to see his children and a child’s right to see his or her father. Men are often accused of being controlling, but when a mother denies a father access to his children and a child access to his or father then that is the extreme of controlling behavior. But that seems to go unrecognised. Balanced? I don’t think so. Fair? I don’t think so. Equal? I don’t think so. Children are not tools to be used as a punishment against a father.
As in: “I loved that movie from 1983, too (“Mr. Mom”), but that’s not what most dads or at-home dads do today. In fact, almost every dad I know is putting in the work to be a loving, hands-on, involved dad.“
“I know you mean no offense, but I don’t babysit my kids, I’m just being their father. And, you know, almost every dad I know is putting in the work to be a loving, hands-on, involved dad.”
“Almost every dad I know is putting in the work to be a loving, hands-on, involved dad. I just happen to do it full-time, as it made more sense for my family that my wife works. All families should arrange things the best way for them, don’t you think?”
“I’m here with my kids. More and more dads are doing things like this. After all, almost every dad I know is putting in the work to be a loving, hands-on, involved dad. Which are your kids, maybe they can join mine on the monkey bars?”
“I know you mean that (“great dad”) as a compliment, and thank you. But, you know, almost every dad I know is putting in the work to be a loving, hands-on, involved dad. I’m not doing anything more than most dads- or moms- do.”
Progress can come one conversation at a time.
I’m very confident that the awesome guys I met at the convention will more than do their part. Honestly, I’m not sure I could restrain the urge to say something rude if faced with such thoughtless comments. But rising above thoughtlessness is the key to being a positive ambassador.
The dads at this convention seemed to like the phrase and, in fact, a few told me they used some variant of it during their flights back home when fellow passengers saw them wearing their “At-Home Dad Convention” and “Dads Don’t Babysit” t-shirts.
My experience at this convention also led me to think about working dads, and what we can do to be ambassadors of involved fatherhood at our workplaces. Here are a few ideas:
Talk about family while at work and make it easier for others in your sphere of influence to do so. For instance, ask them about what they did with their families on weekends, or have family pictures prominently displayed at your workstation.
Gather a group of fellow working dads and go out to lunch or a happy-hour together every few weeks. Combine this with a mom’s group if you’d like. When you need to, leave early and take work home. Don’t apologize for it. Your continued work performance will win over initial skeptics.
Ask management and HR about what policies they offer. Share with them the news of what leading companies offer.
Take paternity leave when it’s offered. Be visible about it. Share your experiences on social media.
Especially if you are a manager, you play an especially important role. If your employees see you adjust your schedule for family, occasionally work from home, and even take paternity leave, you send a strong signal that it is ok for others to do so. Your actions speak much louder than your words.
Push the need for leave and flexibility policies with HR and top management. Make the business case in terms of attracting and retaining employees, as well as improving engagement.
Beyond paternity leave or workplace flexibility, talk with your employees, coworkers and bosses about the importance of time for life.
After all, almost every dad I know is putting in the work to be a loving, hands-on, involved dad.
Whether we work outside the home or have made parenting our full-time job, we need to be ambassadors for involved fatherhood. That’s how society and workplaces will finally catch on to what most of us do every day.
Thanks for visiting our site! Like most individuals you have probably come to our site for one primary reason. You are looking for answers to a specific Fathers rightsfamily law problem. Let me assure you that you’ve come to the right place. We have the answers you need!
The subject of this article is “Why Do Men Lose In Family Court?” I have spent the last 23 years attempting to answer this question. After considerable research, case evaluations and client interviews I believe I now have the answer.
Twenty three years ago I went through a brutal divorce. Actually, at the time of divorce we were very friendly with one another and agreed to settle out of court. My Ex-wife, through a paralegal filed for divorce and like most men I simply agreed to the terms. I walked away with nothing! I surrendered the house, ($40,000.00 in equity) the boat, the car, furniture etc. etc…Everything I had acquired in 13 years of marriage was suddenly gone. We had three children and I wanted them to have the benefit of these items. Although I didn’t realize it at the time I could have and should have made better agreements that would have benefited all members of my family in a much greater way.
Looking back I simply didn’t know what a good agreement was or how to make the deal. I was so concerned about maintaining a good relationship with my ex that I avoided anything that might have resulted in a legal battle. I should have filed my response with the court and requested an equitabledivision of property, custody, visitation and a support order that was based on my Real income. In general I should have been more attentive to the legal issues. This was truly a mistake! Continue reading Changing the outcome of your family court case!