WHY MEN LOSE IN FAMILY COURT
Once in my seat the meeting began with a number of men sharing their stories of severe prejudice and bias in the family court. The first thing I realized was that I was not alone in what I had experienced in and out of court. After two or three testimonies a gentleman went to the podium and addressed the crowd. The subject of his speech was “Why men lose in Family Court.”
The gentleman opened his speech with these questions: “How many of you came here tonight because you are currently in a family law case and are looking for answers?” Everyone in the room raised their hands. “How many of you defaulted by not responding to divorce or hearing papers?” Many raised their hands. “How many of you are struggling to pay your child support?”
Again almost everyone raised their hands. “How many of you are being harassed by the District Attorney (Child Support Enforcement) for child support?” “How many of you have had their driver’s licenses suspended or taxes taken due to unpaid child support?” Many raised their hands. “How many of you only see your kids every other weekend?” About half the room raised a hand. “How many of you paid a large amount of money to an attorney to resolve your problems and still lost the battle?” Again almost everyone raised their hands. Finally he asked, “How many of you are happy with the outcome of your case?” The room suddenly became quiet and no one raised their hands.
When the speaker had finished asking the questions it was very apparent that most of the men in the room, including me, didn’t know the first thing about avoiding or resolving a family law problem! It was a moment of realization that we had each failed due to our own ignorance. These men, myself included were like lambs headed to slaughter. None of us had a clue as to what we had done wrong or how we could still resolve our own legal problems! What a pathetic group of men! This wasn’t what any of us expected.
The speaker continued by explaining why men lose in family court. “Yes there is bias, prejudice and discrimination in family court towards men. Yes the family court system is broken and needs reform. However, despite these problems most of you have failed because you didn’t take the time to learn how the system works.” As he spoke he gave numerous examples of mistakes that men make. (These Mistakes are discussed in the Fathers Rights Survival Guide.) “Men lose in family court because they simply don’t do their homework and women do!”
Most men, myself included, believe they are capable of resolving just about any problem. Most have run businesses, negotiated purchases of homes and/or cars and have been successful resolving other large problems at work and home. Consistent with their success in other areas of their life, when their long-term relationship’s end they believe they can “cut a deal” or somehow avoid a problematic legal case without making legally filed agreements. Call it male machismo or pride but in reality it’s called arrogance! Failing to learn how the family law system works will doom your case. Like one leading motivational speaker has stated: “Failing to plan is planning to fail!” There is no substitute for correct information and knowledge.
As I drove home from the meeting I was filled with mixed emotions about what the speaker had said. On one hand I was encouraged that I could take control of my case, learn how the system works and resolve my ongoing legal problems. On the other hand I was very discouraged when I realized I had caused my own legal problems. I had lost in court because I had failed to learn the “rules of the game.” Like millions of other men I thought I could strike an easy out of court settlement and go on with my life. How wrong I was! This was a very hard lesson for me! I was a college graduate. I was fairly intelligent and should have known better. My Ex-wife wasn’t to blame, I was! I did this too myself! My failure was her victory!
The very next morning I decided to make the commitment to resolve my legal problems. As the speaker instructed I went to the local law library and read numerous books and articles. The following day I went to numerous bookstores and read many self-help books on family law. In addition, I searched the Internet and read everything I could about divorce and Family Law. The more I read the more I realized how mistaken I had been.
Over the next six months I continued studying family law and attending the meetings sponsored by the Coalition of Parent Support. The Fathers Rights movement and my own personal knowledge began to flourish. In fact, I eventually became a board member of the statewide group. After a few months, I even enrolled in paralegal classes at a community college. A year later I was so committed that I enrolled in law school. Boy what a turn around!
My first year of law school I did two important things. I started my own organization called Fathers Rights, Inc. I began offering self-help legal assistance and counseling to men. Also, I returned to court to resolve unfinished legal business. This time I was prepared for battle! I had done my homework!
On the day of court I discovered that my ex-wife had retained the same attorney she had used previously. When he saw me in the hallway I am sure he thought this would be quick and easy. After all I was so misinformed the first time. The attorney approached me and began telling me how ridiculous my request for hearing was and that he was going to “stick it to me” if I didn’t drop the matter immediately. With confidence, I informed him I would not do so and would see him before the Judge. We did discuss the legal issues at hand and you could see that his attitude towards me was much different than before. The attorney made his routine offer of settlement that I promptly refused. He was now very concerned. He had recognized that something was very different.
On another occasion the principal of the school that my children attended felt she had no obligation to provide me with copies of my children’s report cards and other information. (Emergency medical contact information, Notice of parent-teacher conferences, transcripts etc. etc…)
It’s significant to note that my ex-wife’s mother was the vice-president of the school board. The principal, vice-principal, teachers and school nurse were aware of this. No doubt that the decision to deny my parental rights was directly related to my mother-in-laws powerful position. Well, I filed a suit in civil court naming the principal, vice-principal, school nurse, the entire local and county school boards, and the California board of education.
At the hearing the County’s attorney spoke with me and expressed regret that this matter had to be filed. He agreed that the schools position could not be legally supported based on the family code. He informed them that their position was in error and the policy of preventing a parent with joint legal custody from viewing his children’s school records was illegal and should be instantly changed. The matter was settled in the hallway and never made it to the Judge and for good reason.
My children are grown now and my personal family law struggles are over. I learned the hard way that what you do now will determine the quality of the relationship you will have with your children in the future. People forget that children are only in the custody of either parent for a relatively short time.
Now let me ask you! Why have you come to this site? Are you looking for answers to your family law problems? Are you the Parent, Grandparent, girlfriend, sister or new wife of a man having problems in family court? Are you confused? Lost? Frustrated? Angry? Let me give you the same advice I was given years ago. Your case (or the case of the person for whom you are concerned) will never be resolved until you (they) take the time to learn how the family law system works. Unless you are Bill Gates and have thousands and thousands of dollars to spend on attorney’s fees you need to learn how Family Law works.
You can be sure your Ex has! In fact, if you don’t take the time to learn how the family law system works no attorney or other legal professional can ever help you! Now I’m not suggesting that you need to take paralegal classes or go to law school as I have done. But you must commit to learning the simple steps you can take now to resolve your present legal issues and avoid additional issues in the future.
There are now two ways in which I can help you:
After considerable research I wrote a series of nine booklets on every major family law issue.
It’s called the Fathers Rights Survival Guide.
Here is my commitment to you: If you will commit to learning the simple steps you can take to either avoid or resolve family law problems and purchase the Fathers Rights Survival Guide (or purchase one of the The Advocate Plans) I will make a personal commitment to help you! If you purchase and read the Fathers Rights Survival Guide I will make myself available to answer any questions you may have. You can contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org and I will respond. Where can you get this kind of help for $60.00? And you get Free Updates for Life! To order the Fathers Rights Survival Guide click here!
Second: In the Free reports I shared with you my own personal failure in Family court 20 years ago. I shared with you that it wasn’t until I met another man, a father’s right advocate and attorney that was willing to help me that I overcame a very difficult legal case. As I look back, the single greatest factor that changed my case was that I found someone to teach me and guide me. Someone I could contact anytime to discuss my case, my questions, fears, feelings. Someone that would be direct and honest with me. Someone that would tell me the truth about every aspect of my case! A Personal Advocate.
And now I am very excited to be able to offer you the same. It’s called “The Advocate Plan”. In fact there are now two Advocate Plans to choose from: The Advocate Plan Basic and The Advocate Plan Lifetime. Each plan contains an opportunity for you to speak with me personally. And hopefully you will let me become your Personal Advocate.
The Advocate Plan-Basic Provides you with a thorough and state specific consultation on all of your legal issues including child support calculation. Once completed we will tell you exactly where you stand on each and every issue, answer all of your questions and give you your specific legal options. It also allows you to have unlimited e-mail correspondence with me after the consultation. The Father Rights Survival Guide is included. The Advocate Plan Basic is fully up-gradable should you decide to do so later. (You only pay the difference in price)
How do the Advocate Plans work?
Whether good news or bad, YOU WILL LEARN THE TRUTH! The truth about your Ex, your children, your attorney, the Judge, the mediator, custody evaluator, opposing attorney, counselor and any other significant person or issue involved in the future of your case! And here is the greatest part! The cost of The Advocate Plan Basic is just $135.00. You will also receive unlimited e-mail correspondence with me. If you prefer unlimited live telephone conferences and communication rather than e-mail then the Advocate Plan Lifetime is the best choice for you. The price of The Advocate Plan Lifetime is just $299.00. Where can any man go for this kind of legal assistance for this price? If you are really serious about winning or significantly improving your case just order an the Advocate Plan and let me become your personal advocate today!The Advocate Plans are a game changer!
Good Luck and I hope to hear from you soon!
Zoey Cathrine Smith is the name of a 8 year old girl born in Scottsdale, Arizona. She was taken by D.C.S.( Formerly C.P.S. , but changed names due to the corruption that was officially recognized by the Arizona government ) 339 days ago. She has been in foster care ever since. Zoey’s case worker, Debbie Ellis, refuses to communicate with her parent Crystal Scott who has received a SUICIDE LETTER from her 8 year old daughter Zoe. The letter talks of Zoey being tired of being a foster child and if things don’t change, she will kill herself. D.C.S. will not give Zoe to her grandma and refuse to place Zoe in another foster family. Zoe’s mother is worried for the welfare of her child and no one will listen. Sign this petition for a Official investigation into Zoe’s case. If every rule and regulation has been followed by D.C.S. employees, then there should be no hesitation to audit Zoey Catherine Smithe’s case. I have posted previous petitions for mandatory body cameras on all D.C.S. workers and this is why.